"It's hard not to hate. People. Things. Institutions. When they break your spirit and take pleasure in watching you bleed. Hate... is the only feeling that makes sense. But, I know what hate does to a man. It tears him apart. Turns him into something he's not. Something he'd promised himself he'd never become. That's what I need to tell you. To let you know how hard I'm trying not to cave under the weight of all the awful things I feel in my heart. Sometimes my life feels like a deadly balancing act. What I feel slamming up against what I should do. Impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain. When I look at my day, I realize that most of it was spent cleaning up the damage of the day before. In that life, I have no future. All I have is distraction. And remorse. I buried my best friend three days ago. As cliché as this sounds, I left a part of me in that box. A part I barely knew. A part I'll never see again. Every day is a new box, boys. You open it, you take a look at what's inside. You're the one who determines if it's a gift... or a coffin.
Something happens at around 92 miles an hour. Thunder headers drown out all sound. Engine vibration travels at a heart's rate. Field of vision funnels into the immediate. And suddenly you are not on the road - you're in it, a part of it. Traffic, scenery, cops - just cardboard cutouts blown over as you pass. Sometimes I forget the rush of that, that's why I love these long runs. All your problems, all the noise, gone. Nuthin else to worry about, except what's right in front of you. Maybe that's the lesson for me today, to hold onto these simple moments - appreciate them a little more, there's not many of them left. I don't ever want that for you, finding things that make you happy shouldn't be so hard. I know you'll face pain, suffering, hard choices but you can't let the weight of it choke the joy out of your life. No matter what, you have to find the things that love you. Run to them.
There's an old saying - that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I don't believe that. I think the things that try to kill you make you angry and sad. Strength comes from the good things, your family, your friends, the satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that will keep you whole, those are the things to hold onto when you're broken.
There will be days when you’ll be forced to make decisions that affect the lives of everyone you love, choices that will change you forever. You reach an age when you realize that being a man isn’t about respect or strength; it’s about being aware of all the things you touch. Children face inward, wallow in their own selfish needs. Men face out, take action on the needs of others. I’m at that place, boys. I’m staring one of those decisions in the face and it looks back at me with historical eyes and it calls me a coward, a killer, a fraud. It wants me to crack, and run from the service of my fate like a broken boy. Today I will not do that. Today, I will be the man my father tried to be. I will make you proud."
– Jackson 'Jax' Teller: [In his journal]
Дата на публикация: 3 декември, 2016
Категория:
Трейлъри и анимация
Ключови думи:
of
Father
SONS
anarchy
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